


Five Stormhold Christmas Traditions

by misura



Category: Stardust (2007)
Genre: Community: lands_of_magic, Dysfunctional Family, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 22:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5602570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[what it says on the tin]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Stormhold Christmas Traditions

.01 _giving dangerous gifts_

"Brother," Secundus said, "tell me that you are pleased. I assure you, it was not an easy gift to come by."

"Well, it's - " Sextus lifted the object out of the box Secundus had presented it to him in - wearing gloves, it went without saying. "Some sort of mask, is it? Very ... exotic."

"It is said to bestow some sort of mystical power on whomever wears it," Secundus said.

"So naturally, you gave it to someone else. Always so generous, brother."

Secundus smiled a little wryly. "I had it tested. Extensively."

"Ah." Sextus smirked, pleased at having sussed out the whole story. "Paid through the nose for something that turns out to be just a bit of wood with a lick of paint on it, did you?" Granted, it did look rather old - not to say ancient. And who was to say anyone in Secundus's employ knew anything at all about 'testing' for mystical powers?

_Brother, this may be one gift you will sincerely regret giving me._

 

.02 _giving safe gifts_

"My dear sister," Quartus said. "A necklace, to complement your beauty."

"Boring _and_ ugly," Septimus said. His own gift had been a chest of books, most of it silly fantasies about the world that lay beyond the Wall, full of magical wonders - Qartus was fairly sure that he had seen a picture of the fantastical construct that was called an 'automobile' on the cover of one of them, which was the greatest foolishness, clearly.

Septimus should know better than to think their clever, sensible sister could have an interest in such nonsense. Jewels, now - _they_ served a purpose.

"It's very nice, Quartus." Una beamed at him and kissed his cheek. She really was a sweet girl; just as well, Quartus felt, that she was not in line for the succession. Dispatching of her simply would have been far too easy, and besides, it was rather nice to have _one_ sibling not out for one's blood.

 

.03 _forging temporal alliances_

Septimus smiled, sipping his wine, poured from his open bottle, opened with his own bottle opener, which (in Secundus's modest but extremely expert opinion) clearly indicated that there was, indeed, such a thing as being _too_ paranoid - and Septimus, sadly, wasn't yet afflicted thus.

"Let's face it, I'm the youngest. Which means that, as of now, there's still five people more likely to inherit the throne than I am. Which, in turn, means that if you're looking for an alliance - which, given that you intend to survive, you are, I'm your best and safest bet."

Secundus stared out the window. It was snowing again. Quartus would be at the stairs now, annoyed at the lack of candles to light his way, but, thanks to some small addition to his spiced wine, not particularly worried. "Four," he said. "Not five."

Septimus blinked only once. "Ah. Keeping the family holiday tradition alive, are we?"

 

.04 _listening to stories about their father the King's past glory days_

"Still no dead bodies found? Ah, it simply doesn't _feel_ like Christmas without them." Their father the King sighed sadly, as if he were discussing, say, the weather (which was actually rather lovely for this time of year; as thick a fall of snow as one could wish for) instead of the untimely demise of one of his sons. "What did I do, to raise such a bunch of milksops? What do you think this annual family dinner is for, then? To catch up on the local gossip?"

Septimus muttered something. He had always been a bit reckless, Quintus thought, not without approval. As their father the King was so fond of saying: it took _cunning_ to win a throne. Someone as prone to fits of temper as Septimus was would never grow old enough to learn how to be _cunning_.

"It's a celebration, Father," Primus said quickly, shooting Septimus a glance that was absurdly fraternal.

"Sure it is, sure it is. I'm just saying, it isn't a _party_ until someone loses his head, eh? Why, when I was your age - "

 

.05 _agreeing to a temporal peace_

"Let's face it," Septimus said, "if we kill each other, the only thing he's going to do is laugh. And probably live another hundred years, just to spite us."

Tertius smiled. "So your suggestion would be - what, precisely?"

Septimus turned to him slowly - no love lost there, Secundus judged, which was all for the better. He had not spent these past years cultivating a somewhat more ... cordial relationship with Septimus only to have others do the same. "A new holiday tradition," Septimus said. "A period of peace and mutual goodwill, lasting from the beginning of the Christmas celebrations to their end. With any luck, the sheer shock of us being able to even consider it will kill the old bastard outright - if not, at the very least, we'll annoy the hell out of him."

"Agreed," Secundus said quickly, before Tertius could beat him to it. "On all counts."


End file.
